Why I Wouldn't Have Successfully Thru-Hiked The AT In 2020
I was one of the AT NOGO's in 2020 but maybe that was a good thing
2020 was a wild year for obvious reasons. However, before the whole world was put on hold in March, the beginning of the year felt super exciting. For the previous summer and fall, I had been rigorously preparing and training for my thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail. For those who aren’t familiar, the Appalachian Trail (also known as the AT) is a long-distance trail in the east that travels for over 2,000 miles from Georgia to Maine. To most hikers, this is the holy grail of backpacking. Thousands of people hike the AT each year and only one in four hikers complete the entire trail in one go.
Because of my deep connection and passion for Appalachia, I’ve always had this trail in the back of my mind. 2020 was going to be the year for my adventure of a lifetime and I felt like I was so ready to hit the trail. However, as you can guess, I didn’t get to thru-hike the AT. The pandemic threw a wrench in those plans when the Appalachian Trail Conservancy made their recommendation for hikers to stay home to help minimize the spread of Covid. 30 days before I even set foot in Georgia, I canceled my trip and got let go from my job all in the same week.
Yes, it was a rough time and as you can imagine I was beyond crushed. However, the more I reflect back on this time period, the more I realize that I really wasn’t as ready for that hike as I originally thought. In the spirit of AT thru-hiking season starting up, I figured I would outline some of the main reasons why I wouldn’t have successfully completed the Appalachian Trail even if the pandemic didn’t happen.
1. Definitely not in the best mindset
I’m very open about my struggles with an eating disorder on this blog and to remain completely transparent, I was discharged from a treatment center in June of 2019. After reclaiming this newfound freedom, I made the rash decision to immediately start training for the AT in hopes to hike it in 2020. Anyone familiar with the harsh reality of eating disorders is probably shaking their head while reading this.
Traditionally, exercise and forms of movement for people with eating disorders can be a delicate part of the recovery process. As someone who has had issues with overexercising and underfunding in the past, you start to see why suddenly jumping headfirst into an intense hiking regimen right out of a structured treatment program can be a major risk for relapse. My foundation was already rocky after leaving treatment anyway and in an attempt to prove myself as “cured” by planning to thru-hike the AT, I ended up jeopardizing my recovery tremendously.
2. Overtrained and burned out
Because of my disordered background and my tendency to plunge into the extreme end of things, I took training a little too seriously. Hiking two or three times a week quickly spiraled into feeling guilty for not hitting the trails every single day. I night-hiked a lot during this time; racking up miles well before sunrise in order to squeeze in training prior to a busy day full of work and classes. Challenging myself to 20+ day hikes was what I lived for and throughout this entire process, I kept telling myself I was doing this for the AT.
I was overtraining so that I could be in the best shape I possibly could be before setting foot in Georgia. However, this wasn’t really the truth. I was pushing myself too hard because I was trying to escape and outrun all of the things I didn’t want to feel. I hiked to be numb and to punish my body because of the hatred that still brewed underneath the surface. In a way I felt invincible, but that all came to a screeching halt when I developed IT Band issues just a week after calling off the AT thru-hike.
3. Both hiking partners were not in a good place either
Besides overtraining and not being in a solid place with recovery, there were two external factors at play that would have made it exceptionally harder to complete the AT. For one, I recently divulged more information about my dog Honey’s reactivity and behavioral issues. You can read all about it here:
Originally, the plan for my thru-hike was to take Honey with me. As her reactivity grew worse in the months leading up to our hike, I remained completely and utterly in denial about what she was going through. Looking back now, I realize that taking her with me would not have been fair to her because she just would have been stressed the entire time. She likes to hike and backpack, but being on a heavily populated trail like the AT would be way too overwhelming and overstimulating.
Another factor I also was in denial about was the health and well-being of my other potential hiking partner. At the time, I was planning on having a friend tag along with me on the AT. However, he happens to struggle a lot with chronic migraines, and realistically hiking multiple miles day after day with different elevation gains and losses (not to mention the AT’s unpredictable rainy weather), only would have made it more difficult for him to manage his headaches.
How would I go about it differently?
Overall, there are a few complex components to consider when reflecting back on why it wouldn’t have been a good idea to hike the Appalachian Trail in 2020. While I am certainly not happy about the pandemic happening, I will say that my thru-hike would have potentially been a trainwreck if the world wasn’t already experiencing a trainwreck of its own. So, in a way, am I glad I didn’t get to hike the AT at that time? Yes, definitely. I was not ready at all and I will for sure do things differently when I do decide to set foot on the trail in the (near?) future.
First, my recovery needs to be the main focus and priority both before and during my thru-hike. The hope is to be as stable as possible and set the necessary precautions in place if things start to go downhill. This can look like setting boundaries around the training aspects and making sure my food intake is dialed in. While on the trail, scheduling virtual seasons with my therapist or dietitian on zero days or sending them check-in emails frequently to hold myself accountable could be a good thing. I think it would also be important to have the strength and awareness to know when it would be time to get off trail if things really go south. I don’t want that to happen, but I also need to be realistic.
As for taking a dog or hiking partner with me, I would for sure want to seriously consider all factors involved. Therefore, I would leave Honey at home and hike alone or be open to someone else tagging alongside me if it is feasible. My mom has expressed interest in us doing the AT together when we are both ready, which would be so cool! But there are a few hurdles we have to jump through before that happens like getting my mom used to not showering for days in a row and sleeping on the ground every night. (She can do it, I know she can).
Shout out to a few 2023 women AT thru-hikers!
To end this post, I wanted to highlight a few badass women Appalachian Trail thru-hikers who are currently vlogging their experience on the trail right at this very moment! Some of them haven’t started yet, but will soon. I really enjoy watching their videos to follow along with their journey, and of course, to live vicariously through them while I write papers and take out the trash. I hope you can check all of them out and subscribe to give them support.
Stella Hikes
https://www.youtube.com/@StellaHikes
Laura Evelyn Ashley
https://www.youtube.com/@lauraevelynashley
Taylor the Nahamsha Hiker
https://www.youtube.com/@TaylortheNahamshaHiker
Elise's Hiking Adventures
https://www.youtube.com/@elisefaribault4343
Appalachian Adventurista
https://www.youtube.com/@appalachianadventurista/featured
These are just a few of the ones I have been following, but be sure to watch out for others. If you have someone you’re following along on their thru-hiking journey, definitely link them in the comments!
That’s all folks! See you out on the trail!